When we applied to adopt our second daughter from China in 1996, we were required by law to adopt a child who had special needs. I can't imagine what our lives would be like today if China had not enforced then the special needs provision in the law. China now allows all eligible families to apply for healthy children but will expedite referrals for families asking for special needs children or healthy children over the age of five so that these children can get to their families as quickly as possible.

My daughter Taisha was described to us as profoundly deaf and mute when we got her referral on December 4, 1996. Her travel approval came to us at four minutes after midnight on Christmas morning and her life has continued to be a wonderful present for us.

When we arrived in Wuhan, Hubei Province, and met her for the first time on January 13, 1997, we found a child who had suffered terrible and long term ear infections. Infection had worked its way out her cheekbone and had erupted through her cheek. Her left ear lobe was completely detached from her head. She also had shigella,giardia, and asceris (looooong intestinal round worms) butnonetheless she also had a healthy soul. She was almost 30months old.

Taisha had eyes that took in all the details of her world. She had trust that we were going to love her and care for her. She had a heart full of love to share with us. She had the determination andgrit to survive being left at a cinema gate at 25 months of age and the bravery to attach herself to new parents and risk being hurt again. She has taught her mother true heroic courage.

Most of all, Taisha teaches everyone around her JOY. Anyone who knows her can see that this child understands JOY. She doesn't watch her life, she LIVES it. She has a delightful, contagious laugh. People can't help but join in when they hear the chortling begin. I will never forget my daughter's eyes when she went on her first amusement ride. Her face melted into joyous wonder and then came that marvelous giggle! I'm sure that part of it is her personality but maybe it has been from Taisha's trials that she has learned to reach out and enjoy the moment. Is it these same trials that taught her unbelievable compassion and kindness? She brings me tissue when I cry and does everything a seven year old can think of to soothe a fretting baby. She is most attentive to people's bumps and bruises, always ready with comforting kisses.

She had surgery to "implant" two complete ear drums, had another surgery to take out her tonsils and adenoids and has made tremendous progress in her ability to hear and speak. She cannot use hearing aids due to her reoccurring ear infections. As she finally learned to talk we found that she has a significant stutter. We will deal with these problems that are just part of Taisha and it will be okay no matter how big or small they turn out to be. One day, as I picked her up from school, three teachers came to say goodbye and sneak hugs and kisses from her. They all told me that Tai has stolen their hearts. One teacher's comment will always stay with me. She said, "How were you so incredibly lucky to be given this child?" At the time of her referral, many people didn't think we had been so lucky. We were matched with an "older" child and one that really did have true special needs too. They thought we were crazy to accept. Indeed we are still crazy...crazy in love.

Tai has always been drawn to people who need help and she is never afraid to offer hers. I am the China Coordinator for Children's House International and in May 2001, I was able to take my two Chinese daughters with me on a business visit with the CCAA. While we were in Beijing we were also able to visit the Great Wall. Tai has always had a deep desire to stand on the Great Wall of China. She has drawn pictures of that moment for years. The day we were at the Great Wall is one I will always remember as Taisha stood tall on those ancient bricks not only in body but also in tremendous spirit. We took our usual photos at different strategic points and as it was so hot, we decided to take a break and enjoy some cold drinks. We sat under the canopies of tables graced by umbrellas. There Tai saw an elderly woman collecting plastic bottles for recycling. Tai was most interested in what she was doing and asked me a myriad of questions. "Why is she doing that? Why does she need money? Why can't she come live with us because we have plenty of room and money?" She got up from her seat and started going from garbage can to garbage can, table to table, collecting plastic bottles. With her arms full, she approached the old woman and delivered them all to her. Classic Tai.

Later, we went back to our bus and as we readied to board, we saw a wizened old man resting on his cane next to the bus. He also had a bag and stick for collecting trash. We got on and walked back to our seats. Tai kept looking out the window at the man and asked, "Does he need money too?" With a nod of my head she reached into her purse and took out all her money. I gave her some from mine and she bounded off the bus handing over to him her currency. By the time Tai had returned to her seat, the old man had hobbled to our window. He gave a wave and a smile. That moment became an Ellison treasure and he became Tai's new friend.

At the Forbidden City, Tai was full of concerns once again as our guide explained about the Emperor and life at the palace years ago. Tai was indignant that in each room there was only one chair and that chair was only for the Emperor. "That's not fair. He should have a chair for all the people to sit down, not just for him. I'll go tell him to get some more chairs." She was completely undone when the guide tried to explain that there were also servants at the palace. It just wasn't right that people would have to work at the palace if they didn't want to! After days of these kinds of experiences, our guide gave these parting words to Tai as we left Beijing, "Taisha, I have never met another person like you. I know that you will make the world a place of better equality. For the first time, you make me wish I could have a second child with the hope she would be kind and curious just like you."

A couple of days later, we realized a dream and were able to visit Tai's city and more excitedly, her Social Welfare Institution (SWI). At the time of Tai's adoption, were allowed to visit neither. We met with the director and head care givers and were told they would like to let us visit with the other children there. They took us to the 12-24 month old children's room first. There were two "aunties" and about 20 children. Some babies sat in wooden chairs each playing with a toy while others were on the floor trying out their new found mobility. Tai tugged at my hand and questioned, "Where are all their mommies?" While every day of her life with our family, I have worked helping families unite with their Chinese children and we've talked openly, almost daily about her life in China, I don't think it was until that moment that she began to understand just what an orphanage really was. I replied, "They don't have mommies, Tai. That is my job. I need to help find their mommies and daddies." Later that night at dinner, out of the blue Tai states, "I got it Mom. Now I got it. You don't have to explain it to me anymore. Now I know why you are working hard in your office. I won't bug you. I'll let you work. You need to find more mommies."

I'm not afraid of the special needs issue anymore. In fact, we went on to adopt four more special needs children. I was especially drawn to the special needs children in the SWI as we met each waiting child, touching each one as we talked to them. I pray that all the children can find families but also that someone will consider the special needs children as I know that with the hardships come heart warming blessings. What a child may lack in body, they can make up in soul. These are my feelings because of my own personal experience. In my life, I was the one with the special need and my child was the one that filled it. How was I so incredibly lucky to be given this child?

Stefani Ellison
Children's House International
China Program Coordinator