Changing Your Mind Regarding Relinquishment


What if I Change my Mind about Signing Relinquishment Papers and Choose to Keep my Baby?

You are allowed to change your mind, not follow through with signing the relinquishment papers, and parent your baby at any point before signing the papers. This is well within your rights as your baby’s Mother. Until you sign papers saying you are terminating your parental rights, you are still your baby’s Mother and you get to make all decisions for him or her, so if you decide last minute that parenting your child is the best option for both of you then do not sign those papers. This is not unheard of but there are a few challenges that come along with changing your mind at the last minute.

Dealing with Other People

You will most likely feel guilt regarding the adoptive family and changing your mind at the last minute, especially if you were planning an adoptive family and become friends or close to them. While it is never easy for any adoptive family to deal with an expectant mother planning to place their baby with them, they are educated throughout the process that you are in within your rights to change your mind before signing and they know that is a possibility. If you feel that moving forward with an adoption plan is no longer in the best interests of yourself and your baby, don’t let guilty feelings or an obligation to the adoptive family (or anyone else for that matter) sway your mind. You don’t owe anyone anything.

It is suggested that you notify the adoption professional you are working with first that you have changed your mind. He or she can tell you what the next steps are and let the adoptive family know that you have changed your mind.

You will also have to deal with telling your baby’s father if he is involved and your family. This may or may not be easy depending on whether or not they have been supportive of your consideration of adoption.

Baby Supplies

Another thing that can be stressful if you change your mind at the last minute is the lack of time to prepare. You may not have the things needed to care for and house a baby but babies can make do with the bare minimums in the beginning and a baby doesn’t know the difference between brand name items and hand me downs. Reach out to friends and family members who have had a baby before you, community organizations, crisis pregnancy centers, local churches, and even Freecycle or Craigslists to find the items you’ll need to care for your baby. While deciding to parent at the last minute can be scary, it is doable if that is what you choose.

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