Creating an Adoption Plan


In order for your adoption plan to be successful, you need to give some thought as to what you want out of an adoption plan before you even begin searching for adoptive parents. Keep in mind what you are looking for in an adoption plan as you begin to search for the right adoptive family for your baby. You want to find adoptive parents who have a likeminded view of an adoption plan in order to keep things running as smoothly as possible over the years.

Below are some questions to ask yourself while thinking about what you want out of an adoption plan.

What is an adoption plan?
An adoption plan is what you are looking for, wanting from, and planning for from your adoption in regards to post placement.

How much involvement do I want from the adoptive parents at the hospital?
It is your right to decide who you want involved in your hospital experience. If you are not one hundred percent on adoption yet, I’d suggest not having the prospective adoptive parents in the labor room at all. If you do choose to have them there, make sure you choose someone who is there just to support you as well. As much as this experience is about your baby (and he or she is your baby until you sign relinquishment papers!) it is also important to remember that is about you as well. You need to feel comfortable and supported.

How much contact do I want after my baby is born and what type of contact do I want?
Think about what you are going to want after the baby is born. Will you want visits or just updates and pictures? How often are you going to want them? Where will visits take place? Will the updates come directly to you or would you prefer they go through a third party, such as adoption social worker?

Who will contact with your child and adoptive family include?
Think about if you want contact with your child and your child’s adoptive family to include other people such as your parents, any children you may be parenting or subsequent children you may have, other extended family members or your baby’s father and any of his extended family.

Should I put all of this in writing?
Yes! Putting your adoption plan in writing is called a Post Adoption Agreement and they are important. Although not legally enforceable in all states, putting everything in writing is suggested as it helps you and the adoptive parents ensure that you are all on the same page regarding future contact and it is helpful to look back on in the future if problems should arise.

A Few Tips:

  • It’s important to remember that you are not going to know exactly how you will feel until after the baby is born and with his/her adoptive family so keep this in mind and be flexible if you can as you think about and create your adoption plan.
  • Also, think about non negotiables as well. If there are things that you think you can absolutely not sway on, stick to those.
  • Write down what you want, what type of flexibility you want, and what things are non-negotiable for you. Having all this in writing for yourself is helpful as you are moving forward and emotions come up, you have this to fall back on to remind yourself what is most important to you.
  • Don’t rush as you come to this decision and create your adoption plan. An impending due date that is getting closer and closer may feel like a huge alarm clock but don’t let that rush you. You can take as much time as you need to make this decision, find the right family, and create the right adoption plan for you and your baby. This decision does not have to be made before the baby is born.