Is Adoption Right for Me and My Baby?


If you find yourself wondering if adoption is right for you and your baby, then you have likely found yourself in an unplanned pregnancy. You are likely feeling overwhelmed, scared, alone, and uncertain just to name a few of the emotions things you may be feelings.

First, let me assure you that you are not alone. While you may feel like you are the only person in the entire world experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, you are not. Although, it is normal to feel that way, you are neither the first nor the last to walk that path. That’s comforting because that means that there are resources, support, and information available to you to help you during this time. Being well informed and knowing your options will typically help you to feel more confident about whatever decision you make.

Before we talk about adoption, let’s talk about parenting a little bit. You may be confused about which option, parenting or adoption, is right for you.

Questions to Ask Yourself Regarding Parenting

  • Do I have a support system to help me with parenting such as the baby’s father or family support?
  • Do I have any other children I have to think about as well as this baby?
  • Will I be able to obtain the things needed to care for a baby such as a bassinette or crib, car seat, baby clothes, and formula?
  • If I’m still in school, who will watch my baby while I am in school?
    If I work, who will watch my baby while I work?  
  • Do I have a safe, stable place to live?
  • Do I have the means to support myself and my baby long term?
  • Am I eligible for any government programs to help with any of the above?

I think it’s important to think and explore both of your options in full. I’m a firm believer in you can’t decide what option is right for you until you decide which option is wrong for you.

Questions You May Have Regarding Adoption

What is adoption?
Simply put, adoption is a legal process in which you terminate your parental rights and adoptive parents adopt your child gaining all legal and parental rights to your child.

Can I choose the adoptive parents?
Yes. In today’s adoptions, you can choose and meet with the adoptive family prior to the birth and placement of your baby.

Will I be able to see my baby or know how he or she is doing over the years?
Yes, there are varying levels of adoption nowadays that will allow you to receive updates or even visits with your child and adoptive family over the years. (We will discuss the types of adoption in a forth coming section.)

How do I know the adoptive family is a good family?
Adoptive families are required to have home studies by a social worker. Their backgrounds and home life are investigated before they are approved to adopt.

What kind of rights will I have as a birthmother?
First, it’s important to keep in mind that you do not become a birthmother until you sign relinquishment papers terminating your parental rights. Until then, you are simply an expectant mother considering adoption and you have all the rights to your baby and to make decisions regarding your baby. Once you sign papers terminating your parental rights, you have no rights to your baby. The adoptive parents assume all rights and responsibilities to your baby.

If I choose to move forward with an adoption plan, when is my decision final?
Exactly when you can sign papers terminating your parental rights as well as when those papers become final is dependent upon what state you live in. Some states give you a revocation period where you can change your mind while in other states, your decision is final the minute you sign terminating your parental rights. You can check out this States Statues List for more information on adoption laws by state.