adopting blog

Inspiration, Resources, Opinions & Advice From Our Adoption Community

Dear Waiting Adoptive Parents

Adoptive Parents Kissing Baby

Dear Waiting Adoptive Parents,

It takes a strong person to wait, especially in our culture where waiting for anything is frowned upon. Waiting is unpleasant and modern life demands fast service.

But you, as a hopeful adoptive parent, know the true meaning of waiting.

As you wait and hope to adopt, I want you to know that you inspire people.

• Your love and appreciation for the beauty of life and the gift of parenthood can be seen and heard by others — even when you don’t speak a word.

You remind the world that life is truly a miracle.

• Your presence gives hope to the young woman who just found out she is expecting.

• Your neighbors, family and friends see your diligence through the adoption process. The energy you put into the adoptive path makes them appreciate their children more and reminds them how truly blessed a person is when he or she has a child.

• Your hard work and patience educates a generation that is under the impression that everything they want they will get easily and quickly.

• And most admirably, your faith in a greater plan — that is beyond science or human control — brings most people a refreshing reminder to look up to a higher power.

I know it can be trying and discouraging. I know it can take a toll emotionally and weigh heavily on personal relationships. I know it’s not fair.

But God knows your heart is extra deep and holds an infinite capacity for love. Your feelings for your future child surpass biology and natural order. Your desire to become a parent reaffirms the importance of family.

Our world needs to see you and your values.

Day after day the media shows us all the hate in the world on the news; and all the products we “should” want.

Meanwhile, inevitably, one person will turn to you and ask you, “How are you are doing?” It’s been a long week, or month or year — and you just say what you are really thinking: “All I want is a baby to love, care for, and parent. That is all I want.”

Our existence (I too am a waiting adoptive parent) is a reminder to others of who, and what, really matter.

I am sorry your life is being used to teach these incredible truths. I am sorry that you have been waiting for so long.

But I will tell you that while you wait, your witness to how amazing parenthood is, your prayers for the blessing of a child and your refusal to give up — matter.

They matter so much to the world. You may never know how much your example and persistence allowed those watching you to live better lives. You may never know how many people you inspired to be more grateful, to show more patience or to persevere when the going got tough. You inspire gratitude, patience and perseverance.

They matter to your future child. Someday you will hear, “you’re the best mommy (or daddy) in the world” from your 4-year-old, and you will know why you waited as long as you did.

Your wait is a gift to your future child. Without it, you wouldn’t be there when they needed you.

So while you daydream about the first visit to the pumpkin patch or simply holding your precious son or daughter in your arms, make sure you keep your chin up.

That pumpkin patch day will come . . .and most likely those pictures won’t look the way you thought they would. But in the big picture, all the despair and heartaches of waiting will be blurry, but the love between you and your child will be crystal clear.

And one day, you will be offering words of encouragement to another person . . . who no longer wants to wait.

Every life is precious . . . and totally worth the wait.

Don’t give up.

With love, hope and prayers for those waiting to adopt,