adopting blog

Inspiration, Resources, Opinions & Advice From Our Adoption Community

Who Is Your Child Going To Be?

Simone Baby Photo

If you've never watched Fantastic Mr. Fox, you should. It's a great adult movie disguised as a children's movie, and totally appropriate for everyone.

George Clooney, as Mr. Fox, is having a conversation with his son, Ash, about his feelings when he found out they were expecting a cub.

He says to his son, "I kept wondering . . . who is this little boy (or girl) gonna be? Ash, I'm so glad he was you".

I admit, that scene, that line, hits me right in my soft spot. I well up each time. If I was the type who held any belief in a supernatural plan intended for me and my daughter Simone, I would believe that the singular reason her birth mother gave her up for adoption was simply because Simone was in the wrong place, with the wrong people. There had been a glitch, and the universe needed to correct its mistake. Because Simone is my daughter and I'm her mother, and that has always been intended.

In fact, it took a lot of paperwork and two years of waiting on my part, and I'm sure a lot of heartbreak on the part of her birth mother as she placed 2-day old Simone on the steps of the factory and walked away. It also took a brave little baby Simone to face the enormous changes that hit her at 9 months old as she was taken from everything familiar to her, and given to her new parents.

I am her real mother and she is my real daughter. There are no other descriptors for that distinct relationship between us. We love each other without conditions and without limits. Like all children, she's a blend of her own personality and ours.

She's grown from that cuddly little baby into a kind, self-assured 9-year-old girl who follows no one's lead. She continually amazes me with her humor and insight. Some people have commented over the years how lucky Simone is to have been adopted by us, but I say we're the lucky ones! I cannot imagine having anyone else as my daughter. Of all the babies in China, of all the babies in the world, Simone found her way to be my baby, to be my daughter.

I will never forget the moment I opened the FedEx envelope and saw Simone's three photos. There was my daughter. There was Simone. It's such a beautiful, emotional moment when you first see your child. All the feelings come rushing together and you are transformed into a parent. Your life changes completely and irrevocably. I remember so vividly looking at those three photos for hours each day. I remember wondering WHO is this little baby girl going to be?

Simone, I'm so glad she was you.