Episode 10 Podcast > Full Transcript
Hi, listeners, welcome back to Adopting! The Podcast. As always, I'm so excited to be your host for this journey. I'm Nicole Witt, Executive Director of The Adoption Consultancy where we guide pre-adoptive parents, step by step, through their adoption journey.
In Adopting! The Podcast, we're going to focus on the issues, questions and concerns you have as you get started in your adoption journey. So, this is for people just considering, brand new to, or early in the process, who are trying to get their questions answered and figure out their best path forward, as well as learn about what to expect and how the process works.
Nicole Witt, Intro:
Today, we are going to demystify one element of the adoption process that tends to strike fear into the hearts of pre-adoptive parents: The home study. {Pom pom pom}. If you ask me, the home study totally gets a bad rap. I always let my clients know that the social worker is just trying to make sure that you can provide a safe and loving home for a child. They are not showing up on your doorstep with that big red “Reject” stamp from the cartoons. In fact, some people argue that the world would be a better place if everyone had to pass a home study before becoming a parent.
But anyway, to help us pull back the curtain a bit today, please help me welcome my guest, Lori Fraas, Executive Director & Founder of Adoption Support Services of Florida. Lori is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Adoption Support Services of Florida is a Licensed Child Placing Agency.
Lori is passionate about serving her families as their advocate from the time they begin their adoption process, with the home study, through to the final post placement visit, after a child is placed in their home.
Lori has 25 years of experience working in the field of adoption, and she has completed adoption home studies for over one thousand Florida families. Lori is dedicated to assisting families throughout their adoption with her home study preparation expertise and her comprehensive knowledge of the dynamics of domestic and international adoption. I can attest to every detail of that because she has worked with and helped just a lot of the families who I have worked with as well.
Nicole Witt:
So, thanks so much for being here, Lori.
Lori Fraas:
Thank you so much, Nichole, for having me. It's a true pleasure.
Nicole:
Why don't we start at the very beginning? Can you just give us the nutshell description of what is an adoption home study and why is it needed?
Lori:
Well, it's a great question that most people ask right away. And the adoption home study itself is really just a report that is needed legally for courts for people to be able to adopt. And what is needed with the home study is basically we try to obtain information from our adoptive parents, such as personal information, background references, medical and employment references. And we also, try to do some education with the family.
Once that is all completed and the home visit is completed, which I'm sure we'll talk about also, then that family is provided with what is called an approved home study. It's a report that at the end actually approves them to adopt. And then, like I said, they can pass that on to whatever adoption entity they are working with. But that is something that is required for all families who are wanting to adopt.
Nicole:
Okay, great.
And so, we'll dig into the actual process a little bit. But before we do that, I find that so many people have this super scary expectation about the home study that it's so difficult and that they're likely to fail. So, before we kind of dispel some of those myths, do you have any insight into where you think that fear sort of comes from?
Lori:
I get people that ask me that all the time they talk to me on the phone. And like you said, they're so fearful. I really think it comes from wonderful made-for-TV movies.
Nicole:
Right.
Lori:
They see a lot of these movies on TV where this nasty little old lady social worker comes to the family and is mean and critical and nasty and looking for reasons to reject people.
And it's really the exact opposite that is true. With me, I want to approve people for the home study. So, I'm not looking for reasons to reject them. I am actually looking for reasons to approve them. And I want them to be the best prepared that they can possibly be for the home study.
It can be a very pleasant process where families learn a lot about adoption and feel more prepared for parenting an adopted child after the home study. And that is really what we hope all homestay providers will give to their families.
Nicole:
Excellent. Yeah. And in my experience, that is what they what they all provide.
So, you touched on the process a little bit already, but can you describe for us what that is really like? So, so people fill out all of this paperwork and then what happens?
Lori:
Well, one of the things that people are always asking about is the home visit. What happens during that home visit? And the home visit, it really depends on the state. Some states require just one home visit. Some states require as many as three home visits. So, that can be varied, depending on the state.
After the social worker usually gets all the paperwork that is needed, or it might even be the first thing or in the middle, she would come to the house of the adoptive parents, do a quick walk through of their home, looking for some safety features; that kind of thing, giving them ideas, suggestions on how they could childproof their home in the future when they get their child in, and perhaps give them a little bit of education about parenting an adopted child.
The home visit generally can be very casual; very pleasant. It's just having someone visit your home and get to know you a little better.
Nicole:
Okay, great.
And I think one big myth about home studies is that they take months and months and months to complete. How long should people realistically expect their home study to take?
Lori:
It's a wonderful question that I always ask people, when they're shopping around for home study providers. This is one of the questions they should basically ask because it is an important question.
The easy answer is that it's impossible to say how long a home study takes because it's dependent on how quickly the family can get their paperwork in to their home study provider. I have had some families that have given me all of their completed paperwork in a week. I've had other families that it has taken six months.
Nicole:
Right.
Lori:
So, it's really out of my hands exactly how quickly a home study can get completed.
So, the real question is after a family provides a home study provider with all of their paperwork, how long is feasible for them to wait for it to be written? My answer would be about two weeks.
With me personally, I generally have them written within about twenty four hours, but it's understandable that some home study providers could take longer. And I think two weeks is a period of time that would be acceptable.
When I start kind of getting uncomfortable is what I'm hearing that home studies are taking a month or two months to get written after all of the paperwork is in. I honestly don't understand why it would take someone that long.
Nicole:
Right.
And then so, to clarify the steps. So, the paperwork gets turned in. Then they have the home visit. And then within a couple of weeks, they should have the report after that. Correct?
Lori:
Correct.
Nicole:
Can you dig a little bit more into some of that paperwork? I think that is also a big fear that people have about. They just don't know what kind of paperwork they're going to have to turn in and how overwhelming that process might be. So, can you just sort of talk about what paperwork, what documentation, people need to provide?
Lori:
Sure.
And I will not minimize my answer. You do need a lot of paperwork for the home study. And generally, you'd be given a list of what is required. And generally, home study providers should provide you with an easy way to obtain everything.
For instance, one of the things that's needed are physicals. With my clients, I actually provide a form that they give to their doctor to fill out. Same with personal references; I give them something to give to their personal references to fill out, trying to make the process a little bit easier.
I always say it's kind of like eating an elephant. You just do it one bite at a time and then suddenly the elephant is gone and you have a full tummy. And it's very similar with the home study is you're given a fairly large packet of paperwork. And if you get through it one at a time, then you will get it done.
Background clearances are something that are required. You'll need to have background clearances done through your state and also most likely through your county. Again, this kind of depends on the state that you live in. Child abuse background clearances are done, sex offender background clearances are done. Those pretty much winds up all the background clearances that are needed.
You'll also be asked for financial information. You may be asked for your most recent tax records. You may be asked or perhaps a most recent bank statement or paycheck.
Employment references are needed to verify that you truly do have the job that you say you're going to have. Personal references: You'll be giving your home study provider several names of personal references so they can obtain those.
And also, just general family history and personal information, as far as your own background history, so we can know a little bit about your own background, your family; that kind of thing.
And then every state does have some of their own individual pieces of paperwork that they may need, and that might vary from state to state. For instance, here in Florida, we need to give families a firearms safety form where they're just signing it, saying that if they do have firearms, they're keeping them locked up. That's something that is just something in Florida. So, all states might vary a little bit with their paperwork.
Nicole:
Okay.
And who can legally perform a home study? Well, we'll talk a little bit more about how to find the right home study provider for you, but obviously the number one thing is making sure that they can legally perform that task. So, what are the requirements for that?
Lori:
Sure. That is also something that varies from state to state. It has to be a licensed Child Placement Agency or a Licensed Clinical Social Worker or Mental Health Counselor. Some states require that you have to go through a person that the court will give you to do a home study. Some states are acceptable with a licensed psychologist to do your home study. So, it does vary from state to state. In Florida, it's generally a Licensed Child Placing Agency or a Licensed Clinical Social Worker that could do your home study.
Nicole:
And what are you looking for when you talk with the families?
Lori:
Things that we're looking for. And again, there's really no such thing as a perfect family at all. So, we're really just looking for a family that, or what we're looking for in a family, is that they have the physical capabilities, financial capabilities, mental capabilities to parent an adopted child. They have enough money left over at the end of the month to be able to take on those additional expenses of a child. We're looking that they understand that in some aspects, raising an adopted child, there might be some differences in raising a biological child.
It's not in a strict checklist that we're going to be going through that you pass or fail. It's just really generally that you are ready to handle the extra, again, finances, mental health, all that kind of thing, to be able to parent to adopt a child.
Nicole:
One of the big questions I get all the time is what do people need to do to prepare for their home visit, in terms of what do they need to physically do? You know, people are always worried about cleaning their house from top to bottom or baking cookies for the social worker. They ask about, “Does a nursery have to be set up?”
I actually recently had a client ask me, because she'd heard from somebody that they had to have a play area for the child set up. People always ask, “Does the whole house have to be baby proofed?” So, what actually has to be done prior to the home visit?
Lori:
This is something that I tell people to definitely ask their home study provider before that provider comes into their home, because it does greatly vary, not only from state to state, but just from social worker to social worker.
I will say that one thing that I think will go across everything is that they're not going to be doing a white-love test to your home. We know that homes get messy. We know that life happens. And so, I personally am not looking at, is the home just as clean as it possibly can be or if there is some stuff laying around.
As far as the safety features and the nursery, that kind of thing, in general, nurseries don't have to be set up because you don't have a child yet. All home study providers will look at some different things with safety. Some will want you to have all of your electric outlets covered. Some will make sure that you have a fire extinguisher, maybe, under your sink. Some will look at your blinds. Are they dangerous where they could choke a child, if a child gets entangled?
But there's other social workers that aren't really looking at those quite as much because you don't have a child in your home yet. And they may just give you education on how to childproof your home and how to provide safety features in your home.
So, that's one of the most excellent questions to ask your home study provider before they come to your home, because every provider will have a little bit of a different answer.
Nicole:
Okay.
And what would be some of the reasons someone would not pass their home study?
Lori:
Again, that's one of the things that people are most concerned about. You know, “Oh, I'm taking an antidepressant. Is that going to exclude me from getting it approved home study?”
And again, you know, the social workers or the home providers that are doing your home study, they should be looking for reasons to approve you and not nitpicking and looking for reasons to not approve you.
So, the things that you would want to address with a home study provider before you even hire them are any things that you might be concerned about, that's going on in your life. So, that way, the home study provider can either ease your mind and say, “Oh, that won't be a problem at all.” Or they may say, “Yeah, this could be a problem. You may want to take care of this or let some time go by before we even start the home study.”
But the things that can be a concern is if you had a significant drug or alcohol history that's recent; a recent history of drug or alcohol abuse. Also, a significant arrest record that is recent. Some states require that you can't have a felony charge within five years. Some don't require that.
Obviously, if your home is unsafe; it structurally somehow is unsound or if it is filthy. If you're a hoarder, for instance, things like that that would cause your home to be unsafe.
And then also, crimes against children. If you have a history of child trafficking or some of those; been arrested for neglect, things like that. Those are the things that would most likely could cause problems with you getting an approved home study.
But again, you definitely want to address all those with your provider before you even start the process.
The one thing that really cause a lot of problems, and this has happened with some of my clients, is they have told me everything is fine, and it's not, until the very, very end that I find out they have some kind of significant arrest record. A lot of times, it doesn't even cause them to not be approved, but it may cause them to have to provide me with a lot more paperwork. And they don't know that until the very end.
So, again, let your home study provider know of any concerns you have at all before you even start.
Nicole:
Okay.
And then if somebody were to not pass and maybe it's something that they can change or fix, what happens then? Do they get sort of another chance? Can they hire a different home study provider and see if that person passes them? Where would that lead them?
Lori:
Certainly, they can hire a different home study provider. Certainly, in the middle of a home study process, if you're uncomfortable with your home study provider, you can just stop and then hire somebody else.
In many states, and not all, Florida is one of the states that we do have this. One of the questions that you are asked during your home study process is, “Have you ever been rejected for a home study?” And that is something that you have to answer, honestly.
And again, that is something you would want to talk with your social worker about. Excuse me, I say social worker. Home provider; it doesn't have to be a social worker. That's something that you would want to talk to your home study provider about at the very beginning. If you did get a home study that says that you're not approved and you wanted to talk to another home study provider, you would need to let them know, “Listen, I've already had a home study. I wasn't approved. These are the reasons.”
And it might be possible that another home study provider would say, “No, let me work with you on this. I don't think that would be a definite reason for rejection. Let's see if we can still work together with this.”
It does certainly complicate things when you have had a home study done and you have not been approved, but it doesn't mean that you will never, ever be able to adopt a child for the rest of your life.
Nicole:
Okay.
I have a question regarding something that comes up, kind of surprisingly often. And what happens if somebody moves at some point during their home study process; whether it's in the middle of doing the home study or the home study is done, but they haven't adopted or finalized an adoption. And how might that be different if they're moving within the same state versus to another state?
Lori:
When someone, and this comes up fairly often, when someone has a completed home study and they have moved within their state; just moved home, they would need to have – And the terminology is different from provider to provider. Some people call an addendum and some people call it an update. But they would need to have an update or an addendum done where the home study provider would have to come back out to their house and do another walkthrough of their home. And then they would provide that addendum or update to the home study.
So, when a family has their approved home study and they're giving it to whatever adoption entity they're working with, they would just need to have that addendum with it.
If they're moving out of state, most home study providers are only licensed in one state, and you cannot do a home study in a state that you're not licensed in. So, in general, if you move to another state, you would have to contact another home study provider and they would do an update to your home study. And again, the wording is different. Some call it an update. Some would call it another home study. But you would have to have, like I said, hire somebody else in that other state to have your home study completed for that state.
Nicole:
And would they basically be starting from scratch in a new state or not necessarily?
Nicole:
Not necessarily. It depends on the home study provider that they hire. Some home study providers pretty much do start from scratch because they have their own forms or perhaps they don't have confidence in the home study that’s in front of them that was done in another state. Other home study providers will, if it's been within a year, they will use the paperwork that you've already done and kind of plow through that and say, “I can use this. I can do this. I can do this.”
So, again, that's a question that you want to ask your home study provider when you're shopping around in the state that you’ve just moved to is exactly what they require.
Nicole:
Okay.
Now, there are other life changes that necessitate addendums or updates as well. Can you talk about those?
Lori:
Sure.
If you change employment, that would be a reason for an addendum. Obviously, we already talked about moving. If somehow the number of people in your house change; let's say your niece has come to live with you or your older child has moved out and no longer lives with you. Those would be some reasons that you would need to have an agenda done. Something has happened in your family.
Also, if something significant has changed with your health, then an addendum would need to be done in that case also.
Nicole:
You just raised another point that I have a lot of clients ask about. And if they have another child or children already, how much is that child involved in the home study process? Or at what age might that child get interviewed by the home study provider?
Lori:
Again, Nicole, that varies a little bit from provider to provider. But I would say most providers would start wanting to talk to a child around age eight or nine, even younger children. We are assessing the younger children to see if we feel like they could adjust to having a different child; having a child in the home. Of course, just about all of them do because it's just like a biological child. Children have to adjust to having that child in the home.
As they get a little older, we may do a more formal of an individual interview. If they are out of the home and the family that we're doing a home study for has adult children out of the home, we may give them a call and ask them a little bit more about how their parents parent them; that kind of thing.
But at any age, no matter what the age, we do like to have the child in the home when we're doing the home visit, even if that child is a little baby. And then we just kind of go from there with talking to the child based on age.
Nicole:
Okay.
Let's talk about expiration time frames. Can you talk about how long a home study is good for and what happens once it expires?
Lori:
Sure.
A home study is good for one year. And generally, that that clock starts ticking the day that you get your home study. The day that your housing provider provides you with that home study, there'll be a date on there. And that will be when your home study expires.
There are some situations where you may need to have background clearances done again after a year. In other words, if you had background clearances done but your home study still takes another two months to complete. When those background clearances expire, they may have to be redone. That's often the case when families are adopting a child from another state that they would need to have background clearances done.
But in general, the home study does expire in a year, and then after that, you don't have to have a whole home study done all over again. All you need to do is have an update done. So, you would contact the social worker, excuse me, the home provider, that did your – I'm a social worker. So, like that's what I had in mind.
Nicole:
Right.
Lori:
You would contact the home study provider that did your original home study and just let them know, “Hey, our home study is expiring in about a month, six weeks; something like that. Can we go ahead and initiate having an update done?”
And in most cases, that update is really just updating the things in your home study that could expire or change. For instance, you would have to have your background clearances. That's across the board. Everyone would have to have their background clearances update updated. You might need to have your physicals redone. You might even need to provide employment references again, to of course, verify that you're still employed. Or once again, maybe your most recent 1040 form to just verify that, okay, this has changed in the last year. But in general, it's not a lot of paperwork to update the home study.
Nicole:
Okay.
And you also alluded to the post-placement visits. Can you describe a little bit more about what those entail?
Lori:
Yes.
The number of post-placement visits that you need, again, is dependent on the state that you live in. Some states require that you do two post-placement visits within 90 days. Some states require that you do a post-placement visit – that your home study provider does a post-placement visit once a month until you finalize your adoption. Some states require that you have three post-placement visits done. So, it varies from state to state.
Generally, the home study provider that you've used for your home study will do your post-placement visits, if you prefer. However, if for some reason you were unhappy with your home study provider, you can certainly hire somebody else, another home study provider, to do your post placement visits.
And those are fairly short, informal visits. They usually take less than an hour. You already know your home study provider. So, it's a lot more casual, a lot more laid back. It's generally just an opportunity for the home study provider to make sure that the child obviously is being taken care of.
But even more than that, when I do the post placement visits, I just want to be as of assistance to my families and answer any questions that they might have. They may have a child that is very colicky, crying or stressed out. They may have a child that is withdrawing from some sort of substance that they were exposed to in utero. They may just be your typical baby that cry and it can be very stressful for new parents.
So, I just like to be available to help console my parents, answer any questions they have, give them resources, provide them with counseling if needed. Just an opportunity to be helpful in whatever way we can during that visit.
Nicole:
Excellent.
So, last question for you, and you've already mentioned a few of these things. But in terms of what people should look for to determine who is the right home study provider for them, in addition to a few things that you've already mentioned, the kinds of questions that they should ask. What else should they be looking for or what other questions should they be asking?
Lori:
Well, you can typically start out with questions, obviously, that everyone is curious about. How much does a home study cost? What is the average timeline that a family gets a home study done? How long will it take homes home study provider to get the home study written after we get all the paperwork in.
Other good questions to ask are how many home studies have you completed? How long have you been doing these home studies? What are reasons that you think a family could be rejected for a home study? What steps do you take during the home visit and how should we prepare for the home visit? Those are all really good questions to start.
And when you're looking for a home study provider, you just want to be able to feel comfortable with them over the phone, assuming that they are the ones that will be doing your home visit.
Some home study providers that you'll be talking to over the phone might have other social workers working for them or agencies. Some agencies might have other social workers working for them. So, you may not be talking directly on the phone with the person that's doing your home visit.
And so, that's something that you can ask, too, if you were if you felt more comfortable working with someone directly or if you were okay with having a caseworker assigned to you, that might be a question that you could ask also. And that might have a little bit to do with how large the agency is.
Nicole:
And I think that's a really important point because you are going to have these people in your home. You're going to be sharing a lot of personal information with them. So, I think just finding somebody who you feel comfortable with, and maybe even have a connection with, can make all the difference in terms of how smoothly the process goes.
Lori:
Correct.
Nicole:
Well, great. I really appreciate your time and expertise, Lori. Again, my guest today has been Lori Fraas, Executive Director & Founder of Adoption Support Services of Florida.
You can find her at adoptionsupportservices.com or at 407-366-6436. Again, the website is adoptionsupportservices.com and the phone number is 407-366-6436.
And listeners, most of all, I'd like to thank you for tuning in. I hope you've learned something today that will give you more confidence with moving forward on your adoption journey. Please be good to yourselves. Take care and I'll catch you next time.