Changing Your Mind About Placing Your Baby For Adoption


What If I Change My Mind About Adoption And Choose To Keep My Baby?

You are allowed to change your mind about adoption. You may decide to parent. You may choose another family, even after you have already verbally committed to another. You may break off or delay your adoption plan indefinitely, at any point before signing your relinquishment papers. This is well within your rights as your baby’s mother. Until you officially terminate your parental rights, you are still your baby’s legal mother and you get to make all decisions for him or her. You may change your mind before giving birth. You may do this this immediately after giving birth. You may decide to do this this while the eager adoptive parents are waiting at the hospital with you. None of this stress, conflict, or pressure should affect your final decision. But, should you change your mind about adoption, there are several ramifications that you need to be aware of.

How To Break Off Your Match

After changing your mind, you will most likely feel guilty, especially if you were close to the adoptive parents. While it is never easy for any adoptive family to deal with this, they are educated throughout the process. So they know that this is a possibility. And they know that you are well within your rights to change your mind. If you feel that moving forward with an adoption plan is no longer in your best interests, don’t let guilty feelings or an obligation to the adoptive family (or anyone else for that matter) sway you. You don’t owe anyone anything.

First, consider notifying the adoption professional you are working with that you have changed your mind. He or she has likely been through this several times and can tell you what the next steps are. The adoption professional will also let the adoptive family know that you have changed your mind.

You may also have to deal with telling your baby’s father if he is involved. You will also have to deliver the news to your immediate family. This may or may not be easy, depending on whether they have been supportive of your adoption.

As you go through this, please remember that emotions may get the better of people. There is no rulebook for this and everyone will experience it differently. Try to remember the golden rule and do your best to treat everyone with respect and dignity, even if they become upset or angry. In time, everyone will move forward and you will need to focus all of your energy on the great task of parenting that is ahead of you.