Choosing Between Parenting and Adoption

Woman who is pregnant and considering adoption

If you find yourself wondering if adoption is right for you and your baby, then you have likely found yourself in an unplanned pregnancy. You may be feeling overwhelmed, scared, alone, and uncertain just to name a few of the emotions you could be experiencing right now.

But rest assured: you are not alone. While you may feel like the only person in the entire world experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, you are not. Although these feelings are normal, you are neither the first nor the last to walk this path. That’s comforting because that means that there are resources, support, and information available to you to help you during this challenging time. Being well informed and knowing your options can help you to feel more confident about whichever decision you make.

Right now, it is very important to carefully explore all of your options, including parenting and adoption. Doing this will help you decide which path is right for you and your unborn child. Here are some questions to ask yourself as you try to make this difficult decision:

Questions to Ask Yourself Regarding Parenting

  • Do I have a support system to help me with parenting, such as the baby’s father or family support?
  • Do I have other children to think about, in addition to this baby?
  • Will I be able to afford all the things needed to care for a baby such as a crib, car seat, baby clothes, and formula?
  • If I’m still in school, who will watch my baby?
  • If I work, who will watch my baby?
  • Do I have a safe, stable place to live?
  • Do I have the means to support myself and my baby long term?
  • Am I eligible for government programs to help with any of the above?

Questions to Ask Yourself Regarding Adoption

  • Am I prepared to deal with the grief and loss that may come after placing my baby?
  • Am I interested in having a relationship with my child in the future (open adoption)?
  • Would I ever consider changing my mind about placing my child, even if it means hurting the adoptive parents?
  • Do I have access to adequate counseling if I began to feel grief or if I come to regret my decision to place my baby for adoption?
  • Did I carefully choose the parents for my child? Am I 100% sure they are the right parents for my child?