502: Exploring the Full Range of Adoptee Emotions

Happy adoptee with adoptive parents

Adoption: The Long View Podcast, Episode 2

Early in my adoptive parenting days, when my kids were first becoming able to talk about their adoptedness and continuing through their adolescence, I was on alert for signs that adoption had hurt them. I’d been listening to adult adoptees and I knew that this could happen. But I was determined to detect and neutralize any negative feelings that came up – as much as I could.

Well, that was pretty misguided. For a couple of reasons. One, that I would be able to neutralize any emotion with logic and reason. Emotions, especially ones that come from a pre-verbal experience, just don’t work that way. Two, that it would even be advisable to try to thwart half of the spectrum of emotions – the entire half I had labeled as “negative.”

I have come to understand that there is value in feeling the full range of emotions. Feeling is a way toward healing, a truth that can go against the inclinations of well-meaning adoptive parents like me.

If you’ve ever wanted to make sure your adoptee doesn’t feel sad or mad about being adopted, if you think being a good parent is to protect your child from feeling “bad” about adoption -- or anything else -- you’re going to want to hear what adoptees/podcasters Lauren Fishbein and Glenna Boggs have to say.

Show Notes

Unearthing Adoption

Lauren Fishbein: lilunacoaching.com

Glenna’s music on Spotify

PS I Love You (Outro music) by Glenna on Soundcloud

Glenna’s story at the University of Denver

Heritage Camps for Adoptive Families

Antifragility article (mentioned)


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About this Podcast

Lori Holden (The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole) brings to you an array of articulate and thought-provoking guests with lived experience in adoption, each with valuable insights to share about the all-encompassing journey of parenting an adopted person from babyhood to toddlerhood to school age to teenage -- and ultimately to adulthood. Join us as we explore Adoption: The Long View.

Named a Top 25 Adoption Podcast

Lori Holden