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5 Things You Should Not Say To A Birthmother

As a birthmother and the friend of many birthmothers, I frequently hear comments and questions that make me cringe. These comments are often made by random strangers, friends, colleagues, and so on. They are made about birthmothers and directly to birthmothers regarding their status as a birthmother...

Open Letter To A Mom Considering Adoption

Dear Mother Considering Adoption, You’ve found yourself in the midst of an unplanned pregnancy and you are probably feeling a myriad of different emotions. You’re scared, happy, nervous, confused, indecisive, overwhelmed, and more. You may also feel in awe and connected to the baby growing inside o...

Sam’s Sister: A Book Geared Towards the Children of Birthparents

I think when many people think of an expectant mother making an adoption plan, they think of the stereotypical sixteen-year-old high school student experiencing her first unplanned pregnancy. But that is just a stereotype. In fact, many of today’s birthmothers have a child at home they are parenting...

5 More Things Not To Say To A Birthmother

After writing the post 5 Things You Should not Say to a Birthmother, I posted a link to it on the BirthMom Buds Facebook page. I received responses of some hurtful comments that other birthmothers shared that I didn’t include in my first post, so I thought we’d take a look at those additional commen...

Christmas Gift Ideas for Birthmoms

One question adoptive parents frequently ask me is for gift suggestions for birthmothers for holidays and birthdays. With Christmas right around the corner, I thought now would be a perfect time to share a couple of suggestions of gift ideas for birthmothers. I sometimes get the impression from thes...

Communicating with Expectant Mothers Considering Adoption

As a hopeful adoptive parent, you are looking forward to the day you connect with an expectant mother, but you may also have a lot of anxiety about talking to her. What do you say? How do you act? You’re probably a bundle of nerves. I won’t pretend to know exactly what you are feeling, but I can ass...

Expectant and Birthmother Rights

Your Adoption Rights As a birthmother or expectant mother considering adoption, you have rights. And it is important to know what your adoption rights are and to be informed and aware of them. • First and foremost, you are your baby’s mother until you sign papers terminating your parental rights....

What Is A Post-Adoption Contact Agreement?

As an expectant mother considering adoption or a hopeful adoptive parent, you may have read or heard about post-adoption contact agreements. However, you may not know much about them. Today, we’ll discuss adoption agreements in detail and learn why they are beneficial for those involved in open adop...

Being a Birthmother is Bittersweet

Bittersweet….  Until I became a birthmother I rarely heard and had probably never used the word bittersweet. But now I think it is a perfect word that accurately describes what it is like to be a birthmother, particularly a birthmother in an open adoption. It just really describes the ups and downs...

'Give Up My Baby' For Adoption Versus 'Place My Baby' For Adoption

“She gave up her baby for adoption.” “She placed her baby for adoption.”    Both sentences convey the exact same message but they come across totally different to the reader or the listener.   “She gave up her baby for adoption” or “She gave away her baby for adoption” is a more old-school way of...

Birthmother Advice & Support For Women Considering Adoption

As a mother considering adoption, you are probably feeling overwhelmed. There is so much to learn in a very, very short period of time. Here is a list of things that I - and other birthmothers - wish we had known prior to, or at the time of, placement. Before you read this list, I should add that...

A Birthmother: Who is She? Why Does She Choose Adoption?

As a hopeful adoptive parent, a mother considering adoption, or even someone who is just curious, you may be wondering who is a birthmother? How old is she? What is she like? Do we have anything in common?    The media often portrays birthmothers in a negative light. Society has sometimes viewed bir...